Fighting The Wrong Battle

Posted: January 8, 2012 in Blogs
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Have you ever find yourself fighting a battle in life? Of course you have. We all have. Have you ever fought so hard only to find out later that you weren’t even fighting the right battle? This can happen in so many areas of life. You find yourself arguing a point passionately and then you find out later that because you weren’t really paying attention you weren’t even talking about the same thing as the other person. I know this is a weird example but hang in with me here…

I always had a problem with sweating for as long as I can remember. I would sweat so much that my shirts constantly had sweat marks under my arms. This issue was literally was starting to drive me crazy. I wouldn’t even be hot and I would be sweating. I started only wearing black shirts because you couldn’t see the sweat marks. My family knew not to buy me grey shirts because they showed the sweat the most. I fought sweating with everything I had in me. I used the strongest antiperspirants I could find. Whatever was the most extreme protection, the latest and greatest, even the medical grade stuff. I would put on more and more in an attempt to beat the sweat. The problem was that the issue was getting worse and worse.. I was fighting so hard, and losing. My life changed last summer when I accidentally bought a different deodorant than usual. The stuff I bought was just straight deodorant and had no antiperspirant in it at all. I didn’t even notice what was happening until about a week later when I realized that I had stopped sweating as much as I used to. Literally as soon as I stopped using antiperspirant my problem went away. I now can wear whatever shirts I want and it is amazing. To top it off many reports say that antiperspirant is horrible for your body and shouldn’t be used. That was just a bonus.

I know that example is weird, but it really got me thinking. I was fighting the wrong battle. I didn’t need a stronger defense.. I needed a different one. Are you are stuck in a job that you don’t like? Are you are battling depression? Are you losing a friend or relationship because you can’t seem to get along? My challenge is to take a step back from the situation. The very thing you may be fighting may be what you need to just step away from. If you allow yourself to make sure that you aren’t fighting the wrong battle you may just find yourself actually winning.

The Debt Free Promise

Posted: October 24, 2011 in Blogs

Last Friday I announced on Facebook and Twitter that Amber and I are officially debt free. I also said that we paid off $28,000 in the past 8 months. If you are like me you asked yourself 2 questions. 1. How in the world did they get in that much debt? 2. How did they pay that much off so quickly? 3. Why would he share such detail? Here is the story…

5.5 years ago we bought a house in Franklin, TN. Little did we know that we could wake up one day and have to spend $4,800 fixing a heating and air unit.
The problem was that we didn’t have the money saved up to buy the new one. We had to put it on a credit card. Over the next couple of years there would be random things that we would do that we would have to put on credit. In 2008 Amber and I also decided to buy a brand new Honda Civic. I had a great job and we had enough money to pay the monthly payment of $346.27, but never thought about saving up to pay for a car with cash.

At the beginning of this year Amber and I attended the Total Money Makeover event in Nashville after our friend Mike Pappas invited us. Dave Ramsey is the speaker at these events. Dave at one point started speaking about how so often men and women think differently about money. He also talked about how to get out of debt using the debt snowball. Dave also taught about how to put an emergency fund together to be ready for the “emergencies” that happen in everyone’s life. Amber and I left the event feeling inspired, but also feeling like someone had just kicked us in the gut. We knew we needed to fix some things, but didn’t know how to practically go about the change. My church was going to offer Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey, so we enrolled.

Amber and I connected with the simple and Biblical teaching of handling money right away. It’s very simple, spend less than you make, be ready for emergencies, and get out of debt as quickly as you can. We sat down and gathered all of our debt and put them on a spreadsheet. I always justified our debt by telling Amber that it was on zero interest credit cards so it wasn’t costing us anything. The problem is that about once a year we had to transfer the money to another card, get hit with fees, and our amounts were growing. We had been paying toward car for a few years so we were down to owing just over $12,000. When I gathered all of our debt I realized that it totaled $28,000. I was embarrassed.

I could see in Amber’s eyes that she was scared. She had trusted me to handle the finances and I had done a very poor job. I justified buying little things here and there and often even buying things for Amber that she didn’t even care about. I was buying these things for myself and masked the purchases as being for her. I remember the day where I had to look Amber in the eyes, man up, and apologize to her for breaking her trust and not leading well in our household. At this time I made a promise to Amber. I promised her that we would pay off all of our debt by the end of this year. She told me over and over that it wasn’t possible, but only because I hadn’t lead well in the past. I had broken her trust. I however was a man on a mission.

I am a great salesman when I am passionate about what I am selling.. We own a 2003 Honda Accord that is paid off and have access to a 12 passenger van that my wife’s band Everlife used for years, so we started by selling the Civic. I continued to sell things all over the house.. We sold many guitars, musical gear, living room furniture, bedroom furniture and so much more. I even sold my iPad to show Amber how serious I was. The amazing thing was that God provided every time that we sold something. We were given very nice living room furniture for FREE, We were given a dresser after not having one for a few weeks. At times someone from our family would have a talk with us making sure we were ok. We were more than ok.. We were on the same page, and we had a plan. The other thing we started doing was pick up all kinds of random jobs. I mounted TV’s and installed surround sounds, we helped property manage a house and find tenants, we took pictures at a car lot, Amber babysat a lot, cleaned a house, did graphic design, took pictures, and so much more. We basically worked our tails off this year. In the middle of the year I even had another job change that forced us to put part of our plan on hold while I looked for a job. I ended up working for Dave Ramsey and I love it! Working there has helped give me the extra push to be diligent and get the rest of the debt paid off.

Last week we made our last credit card payment and are officially debt free other than the house. After establishing some goals Amber and I decided that we are actually going to sell our house too. We want to spend the next few years living way below our means and will help us to be able to do things like take vacations that allow us to rest, start a family at some point, and give like never before. We are so excited to finally be on the same page. I am not going to lie… This was very very very hard to do. This has been totally humbling, but also completely worth the hard work. I am so happy that I was able to keep my promise to Amber.

I hope that this blog encourages you and helps you understand why I was so happy to post that we are debt free. It wasn’t to brag or do anything but encourage every one of you that there is always HOPE.

Saturday I flew like Superman

Posted: September 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

For my 30th birthday I decided that I wanted to go skydiving. Skydiving had been on my bucket list for a long time and so my friends Craig and Bethany Woelber made it happen.
What an amazing adventure. I had so much fun with some friends and family. There were 7 of us from our group that jumped. Check out this incredible adventure below.

Future and Hope

Posted: August 20, 2011 in Uncategorized

I had the opportunity to speak at Conduit Church on 8/14/11 while Darren Tyler lead a team to Togo Africa. I start off by reading a text message I received from Darren who was in Africa and then speak on Future and Hope. Click the link below to listen to the podcast.

CLICK THIS LINK TO GO TO THE PODCAST

New Job!!

Posted: July 7, 2011 in Blogs

I am so happy to announce that I will be joining the team at Dave Ramsey. I will be a FPU Church Advisor which means that I will be helping churches all across the US start Financial Peace University. Amber and I went through the course and it is absolutely life changing. I am so excited to start on July 18th and I wanted to share this with you all. Another great thing is that I get to go on my family’s vacation to Huntington, PA next week before I start. I know I have a lot of work ahead of me and I am pumped to get started. I can’t wait to fill you all in on more things going on in my life. I will still be a Pastor of Conduit Church, but I will just only get paid by support money that I raise and work mainly nights and weekends. If you would like to know how to help support me please send me an email at jeremy@conduitchurch.com Have a blessed day!!

Fore more information about Dave Ramsey please checkout http://daveramsey.com.

I wanna be a Tortoise

Posted: May 16, 2011 in Uncategorized

If you follow my blog you know about my 45 days of pain. I decided to do this extreme workout program before I knew that so many things were about to change in my life.

I am not going to lie.. I had a lot of wins (lost like 12 lbs), and also a lot of losses (dark chocolate Snickers will be the death of me.) in these last 45 days. The title 45 days of pain held true to it’s name, but not the pain that I had originally anticipated. Change is hard, life is hard. Life throws you all kinds of twists and turns.  How you handle the roller coaster of life is what shows your true character.

April 1st I attended the Entre-Leadership event held by Dave Ramsey. I had no idea how one of the items he spoke on was going to help me through this time. Dave told a story about how a billionaire had only one piece of advice for him. Every ounce of wisdom needed to succeed was found in the book The Tortoise and the Hare. You see the tortoise is slow, methodical and steady. The hare is quick, impulsive and burns out. The tortoise wins every time. This story connected with me.

When I work out I am always a hare. I go in spurts and burn out quickly. I have definitely lost some weight, but I am in nowhere close to the shape that I thought I would be in 45 days into my program. Here is the good news. I am ok with my progress. I can honestly say that I have started to be more disciplined in being active and exercising. I look forward to working out and I am not burnt out like I normally would be by now. I love the long walks that Amber and I take to close out our day. I also have handled the changes and twists currently going on in my life in a way that I am proud of. I say my 45 days of pain have been a win.

Amber and I head to the beach tomorrow morning to hang with some of my cousins. Thank you all for your support. Your comments and uplifting messages make my day. In a sea of people trying to follow society and be a bunch of hares, let’s go out and be tortoises.

If you read my last blog you read about an upcoming job change in my life. Today I tell my blog readers about another change.. No, Amber is not pregnant.. Jeez.. haha.

Many of you know the Fadely family. They are amazing friends of ours and they decided to become missionaries full time missionaries to India for a few years. Check out their amazing story at http://fadelyfamily.com/. They found someone to rent their house for a few years while they are in India, but there was a catch. The family who wanted to rent their house needed it starting in June. The Fadelys instantly started looking for a place to live from June to around October. They have 4 kids so it’s not like they can just move into an extra bedroom somewhere.

I kept reading about Eric and Tisra’s search for a house to rent month to month. They couldn’t find anything. As I read about it I felt like God told me that Amber and I were supposed to offer our house to them. I shared this with Amber and she agreed. The amazing part about this whole thing is that Amber’s best friend Britt owns a condo in Franklin and she hasn’t been able to find anyone to rent it. Amber and I will be moving from our house to Britt’s condo on the 28th of this month. This decision helps both the Fadelys and also Britt.

Amber and I have talked a lot lately about making our life more mobile. Knowing that we need to downsize quite a bit has made us reevaluate all the items that we own and make decisions on whether we keep them or not. We had a killer yard sale last Saturday and just keep getting rid of more and more stuff. I don’t miss any of it at all.

Please pray for Amber and I as we go through this crazy time. We have a lot to do and really need extra strength and energy. We also desperately need to find a home for our cats Dude and Lucy immediately. The cats can’t come to the condo and so they need a new home fast. Thanks for reading.

Changes all around

Posted: May 2, 2011 in Uncategorized

I wanted to write a blog that told everyone about some changes happening in my life. As many of you already know, I am the Executive/Worship Pastor of Conduit Church. In the past few weeks the Elder board (I’m an Elder) and the Financial Board of Conduit have been diving into the finances of the church to create a budget for the church. After diving in deep we decided to make a hard decision. We have always been diligent and responsible with the Tithes and Offerings that have come in to Conduit Church. The hard decision was that we currently only have enough money coming in monthly to pay one full time Pastor. I am still going to be a Pastor of Conduit Church. I am committed as ever to what we are doing. The only difference is that I will now be like thousands of other Pastors around the country who have a day job. Conduit will not be paying my salary. I am starting the search for employment this week. I will admit that this change was not in my plan, but Amber and I have a peace right now that this is the right decision. God is not surprised and I know that He is in control. I would appreciate your prayers for Amber and I right now as we start this new season of life. I am excited to see what’s in store next.

As a side note: Conduit Mission is doing amazing. Conduit Mission is completely separate from Conduit Church. The books are separate and the money is all handled separate. We completely separated the 2 organizations in the eyes of the Government at the beginning of the year. Neither Darren Tyler or I take a paycheck from Conduit Mission. When you donated money to a cause or a project through Conduit Mission the money goes straight where you have donated.

Friends, I need your help!!

Posted: April 25, 2011 in Uncategorized

Friends, I need your help!! If you have followed me at all on Twitter you know that I love my two cats Dude and Lucy a lot. Here’s the issue..  I became allergic to them a while back, but haven’t wanted to admit it. We’ve tried everything from shampoos, replaced floors, I’ve taken meds, bought a furminator, and everything in between to fight the allergy. The problem is that now I can’t even touch them without just getting crazy itchy and it’s miserable. They they love to cuddle so it makes it even harder for me. Amber and I have decided that the best thing to do is to find a new home for them. Even though it will be hard, we really feel like it is the best decision to make. Would you please help us find them a new home? We want them to stay together since they are best friends. Please message me for more information or email me at jeremy@conduitmission.org.

Why would a techy sell his iPad?

Posted: April 16, 2011 in Blogs

Last month I really felt like the way that I could show Amber the most that I was very serious about leading well with our finances was to give up my iPad and sell it. I am a total techy.. I love gadgets. I don’t know why, but I have always been fascinated by them. Like many guys I know I would spend money, move money around, sell current electronics, and just always have the latest gadgets. I’ve done this for my whole marriage.. If I want it.. I get it. I could get creative to make sure that I always have what I want. I would justify spending money when things were tight to get a good deal or to have the latest and the greatest. The problem is that I would figure out how to always buy gadgets, but get frustrated with my wife would buy something. It was a total double standard. I felt like I needed to sell my iPad, but it wasn’t until 2 days ago that I decided that I would do it. I told God that if it was the right thing that it would sell fast with little effort. I sent a text to friends and turns out one of them new someone looking for an iPad. I sold it yesterday morning.

Why did I feel the need to write a blog about this? It’s because I am going through the process of simplifying my life. I am getting as many distractions out of my way as possible. I want to be able to concentrate on the tasks put in front of me and not be so distracted by stuff and things. I also don’t want to keep justifying things to make people believe something is right. The things that are right, holy, pure, and just in life need no justification. When I told Amber that I sold my iPad she was stunned. I am done with double standards. Amber and I are united in this journey of life. If any of you reading this feel like your life or marriage is out of balance in this area I really encourage you to make changes. We don’t get to take any of our stuff with us once we die. I encourage you to see if there is anything in your life that needs simplifying..Trust me.. it will be worth it.

*as a side note. I am still working out and eating healthy. I only lost .5 lbs this week because I did a lot of muscle building workouts instead of fat burning. This next week will be a lot more of fat burning and cardio.. I hope to report good things next weekend. Thanks for the support.